A stroll through Tragdardland

Viewing the picture of the famous church tower in Tradgardland on the blog run by the estimable chronicler of the Duchy, I was reminded I had been to the capital city. I recovered some photos taken on my perambulations around the city one evening 3 years ago, almost to the day. The trip was not all pleasure for I was in the duchy on official business representing the interests of the E of C. The following might be of interest to students of the warlike arts, showing as they do that the science of military engineering reached a high degree of accomplishment there.

First, a picture of the aforementioned church together with a flying saucer that looks like it is suspended from the pole.

I believe this next one is the Ducal Palace. That's not a trick of the eye or evidence of a badly held bad camera angle. The palace really does slope down to from the north to the south. The eccentric Duke, ever a prince of the Enlightenment, had it built sloping to aid his experiments with motion. His Chief Architect had to have raised edges built onto all the tables, rather like those on ships, to prevent plates and crockery sliding off.





The next is the barracks and stable building for the Ducal horse guard, with many storeys in the roof as evidenced by the rows of windows. The lower floors have more space so the higher up the building the lower the rank. The horses were naturally housed on the ground floor being the most important and expensive inhabitants.








Whilst an extensive section of the city enceinte remains, and the curious visitor is able to walk around  it, not much can be seen due to the foliage that has been allowed to grow there. Engineers of former times would have been shocked by the lax way suburbs have been allowed to grow up and obscure the field of fire (see right of the picture).

The alert and keen-eyed will have notice the chap in the blue shirt who I'm sure was one of the duchy's security detail, keeping an eye on me as I obviously showed too much interest in the military installations - more than was necessary to be polite to ducal sensibilities. He cunningly was able to follow me by appearing to be in front of me all the time.

Here we have Alan's shed [click here for contents] where he keeps his endless assortment of toy soldiers and books of uniform plates.

Still with matters nautical, here is the innovative warehouse (the first of its kind in Northern Europe, and copied in Copenhagen by the Danes).

Also we see here again the diligent officer of the Ducal Security Detachment who has contrived to be in front of your correspondent so as not to arose suspicion by seemingly following him. But you can always spot a plain clothed policeman.

In the mercantile quarter this rather delightful tower feature on the corner is believed by many to be modelled the chateaux of the Loire, but the cognoscenti will recognise it is an homage to the Moomin house. Close inspection revealed blue underneath the peeling yellow paint.

I believe it was the 3rd Duke who was building 'the Rome of the North' and had this constructed in the late 17th century. Baroque was still the rage in the Baltic then, until the Stilbruch around the turn of the century (see the Sydporten below).

Next to the Danish minister's residence, here we see the Russian church. The ducal house was related to the Romanovs via the Dukes of Holstein. The Duke of Tragardland was secretly pleased when his childhood playmate, Charles Peter Ulrich of Schleswig-Holstein-Gottorp (a.k.a. Pushy Piet*) had been removed as Tsar of All the Russia's by his ambitious German wife, Catherine. The two duchies' interests had common ground with each other and Russia used them as counter-weights to Danish power in the Baltic. They wanted the Danes as allies against the Swede, but they didn't want the Danes becoming too powerful.

Back to military engineering. The approach to the Citadel from the town side.

The Garnison-kirken at the citadel. Pews in the church are covered in graffiti carved by the bored soldiery over the years. I will spare your blushes dear reader by not revealing what they said about such exemplars of Christian morality as Princess S of A.Z.

The Sydporten at the Citadel.

A wider view of the Sydporten. Here you can see the graceful proportions and symmetry with which the ducal engineer endowed the citadel. Also the keen observer will notice the restrained decoration of the gate house. Surely a sign of austere Lutheran Pietism. Phillip Spener travelled to Tradgardland and Pietism took root in Tradgardland before Denmark. The style is in marked contrast however to the playful style in his vestments adopted by Duke Karl Frederik.

The peaceful waters of the wet ditch today bely the harsh realties that would have face anyone attempting to storm the citadel. This view is taken from the apex of one of the bastions.

A rather idyllic view of the same bastion and the Garrison-kirchen. With the lily pads, grassy bank and church spire you could believe yourself in a peaceful English cathedral city.

View through the inner dry ditch/fausse-braye up to a bastion flank. Runners shown for scale.

Battery piece with replica carriage in a bastion.

Curtain wall between two bastions. My favourite of the pictures of the citadel. Your correspondent thrilled at the sight of this.

Nearly there now. In fact we are now. Seasoned travellers will have worked out my direction of travel and will have correctly divined that my destination was the most famous statue in Tradgardland. Yes the renowned Den Glatte Fiskekone (the Slutty Fishwife). The 'lady' here, whilst at her work of descaling, gutting and filleting a fish, has 'artfully' allowed her apparel to slip and reveal her gifts. It also appears that her lower garments have become so wet that they appear not to be there. Some say this was all deliberate to distract the rent collector from his business. Ignorant people point to the skirts of her dress and say she is a mermaid because she has a fish’s tail. In the Duchy they leave such silly notions to less enlightened folk like the Danes.

And that dear reader is the end of my sojourn in Tradgardland.

I leave you with this plan of the city. In the south you can see clearly why the governor should be clapped in irons. Governors owe their princes the duty to keep suburbs further away from the enceinte, and must not be worn down by the wailings of the populace to the contrary.